What reason does Juliet give her mother for wanting to be alone?

Information technology's no secret that as children turn into adolescents, they increasingly want to be lonely. You might notice them physically retreat from you (their bedroom door seems to be closed a lot, doesn't it?) or discover that their formerly communicative selves accept all of a sudden gone into silent fashion, peculiarly when you ask how they are. While we don't want teens to be isolated, and would rightly worry if their withdrawal were accompanied by depression, science shows that moving toward solitude is a normal part of the boyish journey. Boyhood brings with it a developmental change—the power to employ time solitary constructively. Here are four reasons why solitude holds a special place in a teenager'south life:

ane. Solitude allows them to experiment with autonomy.

Teens have spent almost of their lives going along with other people's agendas; now they want some independence. This is especially true for kids growing up in Western cultures that promote individualism. Information technology'south typical for teens in the U.Southward. to retreat from parents to plant their autonomy, which primarily centers around the freedom to sort through their feelings privately and practice what they like with their leisure time.

Of course, teens vary in the amount of time they spend lonely, and much of their withdrawal from parents gets transferred to spending fourth dimension with peers, merely studies show that spending a moderate amount of time lone brings almost benefits that they tin can't get solely from social interaction.

two. Solitude allows them to develop introspection.

Puberty doesn't only transform bodies; it as well changes teens' brains. The movement into adolescence typically improves the ability to sympathise other people's points of view and to think more than abstractly. These two cerebral leaps pb teens to recognize that they not simply have a private self, but likewise a public self. This explains their rise in self-consciousness—their brains are flooding them with information about how others meet them, and then comparing those evaluations with how they view themselves. Researchers call this the "divided self," in which teens reckon with discrepancies between "a genuine interior and a false exterior" (Broughton, 1981). Psychologists see this reckoning equally a developmental chore—psychological homework if you lot volition.

Alone in thought.

Source: Kyle Broad/Unsplash

Teens often lament to parents, "No one understands me!" But solitude can be a identify for teens to withdraw from the social world and develop the skill of introspection so that they tin can empathize themselves more fully. Solitary with their thoughts, adolescents have the chance to have a pace back and self-reflect. They might replay a conversation they had yesterday with a friend and clarify who said what, and they may even reconsider whether information technology's beneficial for them to stay shut to this friend. All of this introspection is necessary to assistance them connect to their genuine interior. Merely this begs the question: Who are they, really?

three. Solitude creates opportunities for identity development.

All that heavy lifting from learning how to cocky-reverberate tin help teens integrate their divided self into a coherent identity. Psychologist Erik Erikson famously named identity formation every bit the major crunch of boyhood. According to his theory, it's developmentally appropriate for teens to question who they are, where they are going, and what they believe in (Erikson, 1968).

Although identity continues to exist shaped and reconfigured throughout the lifespan, the period of adolescence is a crucial time for teens to explore various aspects of the self—from career aspirations to sexual orientation—and and then accept a position on them. This results in what Erikson termed identity accomplishment. Research has shown that teens and young adults who spend moderate amounts of time truly alone with their own thoughts and feelings show more of this identity accomplishment than teens who avoid confinement, or who spend their lonely fourth dimension scrolling through social media.

4. Solitude helps teens regulate their moods.

Finally, one of the major benefits of solitude for teens is that information technology helps them sort through complex feelings and regulate negative moods. In a landmark serial of studies, psychologists found that during solitude, teens' moods were typically low—for example, feeling unhappy or solitary—but then rebounded to normal or even higher than normal levels upon spending time with family and friends over again (Larson, Csikszentmihalyi, & Graef, 1982). Importantly, these adolescents felt significantly more than alert and cheerful subsequently a period of solitude than at any other time—including after existence social.

Thus, solitude seems to be a space in which teens can regulate their moods, experience what the researchers called "emotional renewal," and sally feeling more than balanced and cheerful. Isn't that what every parent hopes for?

Facebook image: Lopolo/Shutterstock

References

Broughton, J. (1981). The divided cocky in boyhood. Man Development, 24, thirteen-32.

Erikson, E. H. (1968). Identity: Youth and crisis. New York: Norton.

Larson, R., Csikszentmihalyi, M., & Graef, R. (1982). Time lonely in daily experience: Loneliness or renewal? In L. Peplau & D. Perlman (Eds.), Loneliness: A sourcebook of electric current theory, enquiry and therapy (pp. 40-53). New York: John Wiley & Sons.

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Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/solitude-in-social-world/201907/4-reasons-your-teenager-wants-and-needs-be-alone

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